Why I Sometimes Envy People Who Stay On Autopilot
Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. Why am I always searching for more?
Other people seem content in the same job, the same relationship, the same routines. They look happy—settled—even grateful for the stability. And I catch myself thinking: Why can’t I just be like them? Why can’t I stay satisfied in the same way?
If I could just function like that, life would probably feel easier. But here’s the truth: every time I try to settle for “fine,” something inside me resists. I have a visceral response—my body tenses, my chest feels heavy, my spirit almost recoils. It’s as if some deeper part of me refuses to stay small, even when my mind begs for the relief of simple contentment.
Because the truth is, it takes courage to sit in the unknown. To walk away from what once felt stable. To keep leaning toward authenticity when autopilot would be so much simpler.
But here’s the thing: people who never take this journey rarely touch the aliveness, depth, and freedom that come with it. They may feel “safe,” but safety without soul can be suffocating. They don’t get to taste the layers of clarity, joy, and alignment that start to unfold when you trade comfort for truth.
And that trade—that’s where the bravery lives.
I get scared because it matters.
I envy others at times because I’m human.
But deep down, I know I wouldn’t trade this path.
That’s the gift of choosing alignment over autopilot, expansion over stagnation. Even when fear, envy, or grief are heavy companions, there’s a quiet anchor inside me that says: This is mine.
And if you’re walking your own uncertain path, maybe you feel it too.
A Question For You
Where do you feel the pull for “more,” even when it would be easier to stay the same?
A Practice to Try
Often when the drive for “what’s next” starts to outweigh the fear, an internal conflict rises. The mind wants to solve it—push us into action, thought loops, or planning. Instead of rushing there, try this:
Find a comfortable spot—outside if possible.
Imagine you are watching from above, like a bird, or from the sidelines, like a referee at a soccer match.
See the two “teams” inside you—the part that longs for more and the part that craves stability. Let them play out in front of you.
Don’t think, don’t solve, don’t spiral. Simply feel. Notice contractions, expansions, the tug of disagreement.
Stay for 5–15 minutes. Just witness, breathe, and be with the duality of the space you’re in.
— SAVE THIS WISDOM TO YOUR PINTEREST BOARD —
Over time, this practice shifts the experience of growth.
The discomfort of stretching into more begins to feel familiar—even stable. Old definitions of safety and contentment soften, transmuting into a new kind of groundedness, one that actually supports your unique path forward.
