Empathy—The Sneaky Energy Leak No One Talks About
Empathy gets a lot of praise these days—and for good reason. It’s the glue in relationships, leadership, and community. We need more understanding in the world.
But for many of us, empathy isn’t just a value—it’s a survival strategy we picked up early in life.
Maybe you had a parent whose mood dictated the house. Or a teacher whose tone could change everything. Somewhere along the way, your body learned: “If I can feel what they’re feeling, I can stay safe.”
So you got good at it. You tuned in. Read the room. Carried what wasn’t yours.
That’s not empathy. That’s hypervigilance disguised as compassion.
And the truth is: most people don’t need to become more empathic.
They need to learn how to navigate the empathy they already feel—so it doesn’t overload their system or make them responsible for things that aren’t theirs.
Empathy Without Boundaries Is Energetic Overload
When people talk about empathy, what they’re often describing is energetic entanglement—taking on someone else’s emotions, stress, or energy as if it’s your own.
You leave a conversation feeling heavy, anxious, or drained—and don’t realize it’s because you absorbed what someone else was carrying.
This isn’t sensitivity. It’s a lack of energetic boundaries.
And it’s exhausting.
Empathy without discernment puts you in a constant state of emotional over-responsibility. You’re not just feeling with someone—you’re feeling for them, and trying to fix it.
But someone else’s energy is not your job.
You can care deeply without carrying what’s not yours.
The key is learning to stay rooted in your own system. When you're centered in your body, your field, your truth—you don’t have to abandon yourself to be present with someone else.
That’s when empathy becomes a strength—not a drain.
Try This: The White Fence Visualization
This is one of my favorite energetic tools for empaths:
Picture yourself as a house—any style you like. Have fun with it, let your imagination play, and don’t overthink it.
Surrounding your home is a lush, green yard—your personal space.
Around the yard is a circular white fence with four gates: front, back, left, and right.
Throughout the day, most of us leave the gates wide open. Other people’s thoughts, emotions, and stress can drift in—while we’re busy tending to everyone else’s yard.
Now imagine this:
Walk to each gate and gently close it.
Take a breath and picture any emotional “litter” in your yard disappearing.
Say to yourself: “I am safe, holding only what belongs to me.”
Do this when you start your day. Before meetings. After phone calls. When you feel overwhelmed and you’re not sure why.
— SAVE THIS WISDOM TO YOUR PINTEREST BOARD —
